Sometimes life surprises you.
It finds that hope you keep squirreled away, fearful that all chances of it occurring will dissipate if you give it but a moment’s thought or the briefest of glances. It takes that hope and shepherds it into the warm glow of joy in its fruition.
And it’s times like these, when life otherwise feels like an infinite struggle, that God reminds me to have faith in His plan. Goodness, that sounded melodramatic. But it’s true. When my heart is breaking, when I am overwhelmed, when I realize what I thought I knew was wrong… I am reminded that dreams can come true. That Disney storylines aren’t entirely fiction. That happy endings aren’t only written on paper or filmed on movie sets.
They unfold in real life, too.
Heard back from one of the schools I applied to today, and all I can say is I have got a lot to be thankful for. For the grace of God, for luck, for the family that expected nothing less, for all of the friends that said “I told you so,” for the mentors who wrote me endless letters, for the feeling of vindication for hours spent buried in books, pounding the pavement, and giving into perfectionism.
So it might be three days early, but I thought some thanksgiving was in order.
sometimes it seems like the world knows me just a little bit too well. there are days when i feel as though i’ve finally gotten a handle on things, life is in a pretty good place… and then the world decides to teach me otherwise. tosses in that one stressor that i’d forgotten about, pushed aside, buried down - the one that never fails to turn me into a hot mess.
and today, it staggered me. i was exhausted, but i had started to feel the second wind that comes with the weekend on thursday afternoons, when i got a call that reordered my day. it took the absence i had taken for granted and chucked it in my face, reminding me how persistent worries can be. i couldn’t process it in the way i usually do, and it took a few hours to recover the trusty “keep calm and carry on” attitude.
sitting here now, after some friend therapy and quiet time, i’m reminded that there’s a flip side to the hard and unexpected. it makes it a lot easier to appreciate the good that’s unexpected too.
today i submitted my final law school application and received my first acceptance letter. from here on out, it’s all about the waiting.
as someone who hates suspense, i forget sometimes that patience is a virtue. but i need to keep faith, not just in myself but in God, who has a plan that i can’t begin to fathom. i should remind myself that all things have a time and place, and the context matters just as much as the event. i ought to remember that the good is better appreciated when it’s not brought on a silver platter, on demand.
the waiting isn’t the empty space between one point and another.
the waiting is the part that’s full of possibilities.
